Written from the perspective of a thwarted consumer (not me, I am simply the schadenfreude sitting up in my perch I call Chez Schadenfreude, observing the goings on of the watch world from afar):
Picture this scenario: A bunch of lords charging in, ready to seize what they know is rightfully theirs: that green-faced Nautilus prepared for them on silk pillows … or … dare I say it … a Paul Newman Rolex Daytona.
While here I am, a sorry devil like me, who has never had the opportunity to procure such a heavenly object. Doesn’t matter how much I love the watch, or how many watchmakers I visit in Vallée de Joux, or which ones I’m on lap-sitting terms with. Doesn’t matter how many times I zoom my Maserati up and down the block. Whatever I do, I am stuck on that Waitlist, the deadliest of all rich people problems. A lowly rich persona-non-grata who has been getting a rash between their thighs pacing up and down that list.
And yet, the time has come, Watch Industry. We see you flailing around for a more engaging, organic digital presence. Trying to snag an audience from a generation that doesn’t reference WW2 when asked about the weather. Seeking clients for your other watches that go largely ignored, gathering dust on the shelf.
While you have been clogging the waitlist with eager fools like me, we are the ones who have been creating your hype. You understand this. You know that in today’s world, one has to be more ‘relatable’ (i.e., have large numbers of followers on social media) to survive.
You’re stuck in a chokehold, between those who are entitled to get first pick, the same old lords and their spawn, and those slowly leaving the waitlist for other pastures. Except for me, of course, your shriveled-handed, die-hard Peter Pettigrew.
Getting approval to buy a limited edition watch, like Prima Nocta, is an ancient process. Only certain people get approval, or “first rights.” Like the Rolex Daytona, Rolex Submariner, AP Royal Oak Complication, anything Richard Mille kisses with his bare lips, FP Journe Elegante … and so on, and so forth… Did I mention Patek’s Steel Nautilus?
How are these people picked?
You like to call it an age-old “understanding,” but in truth there is ZERO nuance or mystery as to why some people are allowed to buy a watch and others are not. You would like us to think that it’s complicated, when it’s actually quite simple. The most complicated thing that can happen to a waitlist is if sales tinker with it, for example pretending to be a dead VVVIP, and selling the watch to someone like you so that they can split the commission amongst themselves. Something like that.
The truth is you’re on the list if the “Gatekeeper” (owner of the brand, distributor, some hooked-up retailer, etc.) needs something from you. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.
Some people will say, Oh, it’s years of loyalty a client has shown to the brand/retailer that gets them on the list for that rare watch. These sweet, wishful ostriches will croak on and on about how Generaaaaaations of family ties and interflowing wealth keeps them together, therefore how is the brand supposed to forsake them for some wishy-washy Wuggle (person who doesn’t collect watches)? Selling to one of those feckless brutes that traipse on in in their head-to-toe Versace, throwing their money in the air, disrupting Shangri-La? Nay, it would be treason!
The ostriches who enable this ideal, who love to give off this tight-knit vibe the watch world is safely encapsulated in… are the worst, pretending to play all innocent, when they know full well about the instances where one of the “Lords” that gets first pick is …
… the person who never bought a thing from you. I’m talking to you now, Gatekeepers. You have been sending these fickle Emporer in new clothes types the first pick, and they never even sniff their nose in your direction.
Where is their loyalty while I have sold my firstborn son (I hated him anyway) for you??
WHYYYY? I apologize, I forgot to take my insulin shot. With all this unexplained corruption, I developed diabetes.
Now, where were we?
Oh yes, it’s the truth about the Waitlist. It’s nothing to do with education, or love for watches, or the art of collecting. It’s an exchange of power, and favors.
A bond, forged from bribery and influence.
But things are changing … what with the breakdown of traditional systems, starting with the death of the newspaper , and death of the author, death of a salesman etc …
We have been seeing the emergence of:
The Birth of the Reader (Barthes, 1967). This is where the READER holds the power over what happens-- Yes! Me! The person who can afford the watch but is stuck on the Waitlist, no matter how much I study the “art of collecting” (parrp).
Refer to this gem right here to see how much of a say jilted consumers like me are getting over waitlist shenanigans:
Rich people sue Hermès for not taking their money.
With the “postmodern consumer” (Jameson 1988), multiple narratives are becoming increasingly important (McKee, 2005) where you have to come up with an answer that is better than, “Let me put you down on the Waitlist.”
Because we, the persona-non-grata consumers, are the ones increasingly determining your hype, Watch Industry. We deem said hype good, abysmal, or if you get one at all.
Until you get that, you’ll keep running blind, bonking into walls, spending millions on marketing, wondering why your social media accounts get less action than I do.
This isn’t a threat, dear Watch Industry. It’s a wake up call. Entire populations are interfering with how the politics of a country are run, ever since PR for politicians took a nosedive into the laps of teens and truck drivers tapping away in their rooms or in the middle of nowhere.
Your PR reps can take note.
Your average Luxury Consumer Waitlisted Schadenfreude
Congrats for tackling the tough topic of the watch wait list. An unfortunate number of folks have tied their ego to it. Wait lists (and the politics related to getting priority positioning on a list) is a very good example of how rich and poor consumers alike are easily influenced by insecurity. The luxury watch industry at its worst, pulls on the emotional insecurity strings of consumers who are probably better of taking their dollars elsewhere. The deep need for approval and to feel that you are "good enough" for it means that a lot of consumers falsely associate their merit and worth with someone "willing" to take their money. It's a ruse. Avoid it.
In the years I've been collecting watches I've never felt compelled to join any wait list, ever. Why? Because there has never been a deficiency of amazing watches with sellers willing (and happy) to take my money immediately. What watch consumers ultimately want is to feel valued when purchasing a watch. That rarely happens if you are competing with other buyers to spend your money. Take your money elsewhere, where someone will authentically appreciate it and make you feel good about where you choose to spend your money. Choosing wisely where to spend our money is our right and obligation as economic consumer actors. By spending money with those who don't need it, or don't appreciate it, how are we encouraging the development or a more competitive marketplace?
At any given moment there are plenty of currently available and beautiful/amazing watches on the market that will make you happy. I promise. Don't be a chump and fall for the false allure of a wait list. It won't make you happy being on it, and it won't make you happy when your turn is up to hand over your hard-earned cash. That's for letting me share my two cents.